I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school; the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I'd never be tardy.
Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kinds of lawyers. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. He's so good he gets paid five hundred dollars an hour just to fight with people, but he fights with me for free 'cause I'm his daughter.
Do you prefer fashion victim or ensemblelly challenged?
Tai: Cher, you're a virgin?
Dionne: the PC term is hymenally challenged.
Cher: I just want to be absolutely sure! I mean, you see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet!
Neighbor: All men are pigs!
Prymaat: Ah, pigs: an omnivorous, domesticated, cloven hoof vertebrate that defecates the same place it consumes.
The most beautiful words in the English language are not 'I love you,' but 'it's benign.'
Dude, Where's My Car?
Jesse: Have you seen my car?
Jesse: You have?
Christie: Well, I saw the backseat.
Jesse: No, I'm talking about the whole thing.
Dumb & Dumber
Lloyd: What's the soup du jour?
Waiter: It's the soup of the day.
Lloyd: Mmm... that does sound good.
Dumb & Dumber
She wrote me a 'john-deere' letter... something about me not listening enough, I don't know... I wasn't really paying attention.