Peter And Lois Family Guy Quotes

For those who can't have enough of Peter and Lois Family Guy quotes, here is another page of funny conversations.

Peter And Lois Family Guy Quotes
[Peter has had plastic surgery]
Lois: Ahh, I hate what you've become. Why don't you go back to that doctor and have him suck the fat out of your head?
Peter: Maybe I will, and then I'll put it on my feet and stand on Paul Bunyan's giant skillet to cook his flapjacks.
Lois: That doesn't make any sense.
Peter: It doesn't have to. I'm beautiful.

Peter And Lois Family Guy Quotes
Chris: Hey, mom, look at these bananas.
Peter: Why you smart little bastard.
Lois: Now Chris, these are called "plantains". In fact, most women prefer them to normal size bananas because they're exotic and flavorful.
Peter: Yeah, Lois, I see all the sorority girls clamoring for the plantain section.

Peter And Lois Family Guy Quotes
[Peter has bought an sexy version of a relationship tape]
Lois: $49.95? Are you sure we can afford this?
Peter: Lois, our relationship can not be measured in nipples and dimes... nickels and boobs... money.
[runs off]

Peter And Lois Family Guy Quotes
Peter: Gee, Lois, I hope that you don't do something stupid like buying that time share or realizing that your husband taped over our wedding video with soft-core cable porn.
Lois: You taped over our wedding video?
Peter: Just the boring stuff.

Peter And Lois Family Guy Quotes
Lois: Meg... is that a real Prada bag? How did you make $1100 as a waitress in a week?
Meg: It's easy... when you're the unwed teenage mother of a crack-addicted baby. Ha ha ha ha...
Peter: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Meg. When did you become a teenager?
Lois: Peter, she's sixteen.
Peter: You KNEW about this?

Peter And Lois Family Guy Quotes
[watching a news report on TV]
Lois: Oh my god. He's going to wipe that species off the face of the earth.
Peter: Nah, the janitor will take care of that.

Peter And Lois Family Guy Quotes
Lois: Peter, you're drunk again.
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted because I've been up all night drinking.

Peter And Lois Family Guy Quotes
Lois: This can be a great opportunity for you and Stewie to bond.
Peter: Bond... James Bond. I'll do it.

Also read other Family Guy Quotes:
• Introductory Page
• Evergreen Family Guy Quotes – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
• Your Affable Stewie Griffin – 1, 2, 3, 4
• Funny ol' Peter Griffin – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
• Funny Conversations – Lois And Stewie, Lois and Peter - 1, Lois and Peter - 2, Lois and Peter - 3