Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin

Family Guy has a very popular character whose idiocy knows no bounds. Presenting funny quotes from Family Guy – Peter Griffin. Get ready to grin and smirk at the quotes from this wonderful character from Family Guy.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
Peter: Well, they live in a crummy neighborhood.
Brian: The Bradys?
Peter: Oh, hell yeah. They got robbers, thugs, drug dealers ah, you name it.
[Aunt Jemimah pops up in the window with a plate of pancakes]
Aunt Jemimah: You folks want some pancakes?
Peter: No thank you. See, that's the worse we got is, uh Jemimah's Witnesses.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
[Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration]
Peter: Uh... my name is...
[he sees a pea]
Peter: Pea...
[he sees a woman crying]
Peter: ... tear...
[he sees a gryphon fly by]
Peter: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
Peter: What's wrong, Stewie, don't you wanna pee in the toilet bowl like a big boy? Boy I remember when I learned to use a potty all by myself. I was so proud.
[Flashbacks to one year ago]
Peter: [Zips up pants] Hey Lois, I did it.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
Chris: Dad, there's a guy outside who says I can't go to school.
Peter: Yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: ...that's a good army.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
[Peter forms his own country]
Peter: I call it... Petoria. I was going to call it Peterland, but that gay bar by the airport took it.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
[at a rehab center]
Peter: YEAH. I'm also addicted to boobies.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
Peter: I haven't cleaned since Bounty dropped me as their spokesman.
[flashback]
Peter: So Rosie, I just spilled this glass of warm yellow liquid on the counter and you're telling me that Bounty can pick it up in five seconds?
Spokesperson: What the hell is that?
Peter: Five seconds...
Spokesperson: Is that?
Peter: Four seconds...
Spokesperson: It smells like...
Peter: Three seconds...
Spokesperon: That's...
Peter: CLEAN MY PEE.

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
Peter: Chris is not as smart as you think he is...
[Peter slaps Chris in the back of the head]
Chris: HEY.
Peter: He did it.
[Peter points to a nearby floor lamp, and Chris attacks it and starts fighting with it]

Quotes From Family Guy - Peter Griffin
[during a fishing trip]
Peter: Man, some trip this turned out to be. All we caught is a tire, a boot, a tin can and this book of clichés.

Also read other Family Guy Quotes:
• Introductory Page
• Evergreen Family Guy Quotes – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
• Your Affable Stewie Griffin – 1, 2, 3, 4
• Funny ol' Peter Griffin – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
• Funny Conversations – Lois And Stewie, Lois and Peter - 1, Lois and Peter - 2, Lois and Peter - 3