Funny Quotes on Life That Teach You to Lighten Up

Life's funny at times. You find many situations that make you smirk or smile. Perhaps you read a funny status message on Facebook or Twitter? Or perhaps a friend said something hilarious that kept you smiling through the day? Life is funny when you look at the lighter side of things. Humor keeps stress at bay and makes time pass smoothly, like a well-oiled machine.

Humor can be a double-edged sword though. Statements laced with sarcasm can drive home a point. Try making a humorous remark that subtly drives the message home. You may actually end up with a fatter paycheck or some other perks. These quotes inspire you to find humor in the mundane. Whether you are trying to understand humor or life, there is a lot to gain from funny quotes.

Funny Quotes

Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby: A perfect method of adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large.

Jane Wagner, The Search for Intelligent Life in The Universe: All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

Woody Allen: All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Yogi Berra: Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Herbert Samuel: An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.

Mark Twain: Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Lao-Tzu: Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.

Robert Gronock: He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed.

Woody Allen: I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Winston Churchill: I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

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Whoopi Goldberg: I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pretty good.

Jim Rohn: I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they do their lives.

Oscar Wilde: I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.

Dean Smith: If you’re going to make every game a matter of life or death, you’re going to have a lot of problems. For one thing, you’ll be dead a lot.

Joey Adams: In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.

Truman Capote: Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

Oscar Wilde: Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

Bertrand Russell: Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.

Djuna Barnes: Life is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only been painful and nasty.

Bob Monkhouse: Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Fran Lebowitz: Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

George Carlin: The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

Robert Heinlein: The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

Oscar Wilde: There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Benjamin Franklin: Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.

Mark Twain: When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Stephen Fry: A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors. Rather chilling.

Neil Simon: He’s too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

Jim Carrey: I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.

Henny Youngman: I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Stephen Wright: I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Mae West: Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Cathy Guisewite: Mothers, food, love, and career: the four major guilt groups.

Amelia Earhart: Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.

Mark Twain: Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Sholom Aleichem: No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.