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Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

Laughter Makes Evergreen Relationships: Read Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

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Lovers who share a sense of humor, stay together longer. Humor is the key to an evergreen relationship. If you want to win your lover's heart, use humor. With a dash of humor and love, make your day extra special with these funny Valentine's Day quotes.
  • Helen Rowland
    A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

  • Groucho Marx
    Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

  • Mickey Rooney
    Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

  • Rita Rudner
    I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  • Tracy Smith
    I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.

  • Francis Bacon
    It is impossible to love and be wise.

  • Ally McBeal
    It’s funny how we set qualifications to the right person to love, when we know at the back of our heads the person whom we truly love will always be an exception.

  • Mirabeau
    Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.

  • Plato
    Love is a grave mental disease.

  • Hoosier Farmer
    Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.

  • Rita Rudner
    My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

  • Phyllis Diller
    Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight.

  • Joyce Brothers
    No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.

  • Oscar Wilde
    One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

  • Margaret Atwood
    The Eskimos have fifty two words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love.

  • Ann Landers
    The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

  • Yiddish Proverb
    Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.

  • H. L. Mencken
    To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.

  • Jay Leno
    Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.

  • Erich Segal
    True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

  • Anonymous
    Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.

  • Rosanne Barr
    Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

  • Mae West
    Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself.

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