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Valentine's Day Quotes: Funny

Valentine's Day Quotes: Funny Quips That Can Enrich Your Love Life


Set aside those mushy, sentimental, words of love. Valentine's Day is the perfect occasion to tease your lover with the naughty humor of these Valentine's Day quotes. Funny words may bring a smile, but witty jabs add a spark to the relationship. This Valentine's Day, roll on the floor with laughter.
  • Helen Rowland
    A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted.

  • Brendan Francis
    A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

  • Miguel De Cervantes
    Absence: that common cure of love.

  • Aerosmith
    Falling in love is so hard on the knees.

  • Ogie,Waitress
    If I had a penny for everything I love about you, I would have many pennies.

  • Author Unknown
    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  • Laurence J. Peter
    It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

  • Henny Youngman
    I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

  • Jonathon Swift
    Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

  • Cathy Carlyle
    Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.

  • Jules Renord
    Love is like an hour glass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

  • W. Somerset Maugham
    Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

  • Woody Allen
    Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

  • John Barrymore
    Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

  • Valentine's Day, Reed Bennett
    Love is the only shocking act left on the planet.

  • William Caxton
    Love lasteth as long as the money endureth.

  • Richard Friedman
    Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.

  • Charles Dickens
    Never sign a Valentine with your own name.

  • Albert Einstein
    No, this trick won't work. How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?

  • Henry Kissinger
    Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

  • Erich Segal
    True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

  • Marie E. Eschenbach
    We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.

  • Oscar Wilde
    Women are made to be loved, not understood.

  • Henny Youngman
    You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
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