Set aside those mushy, sentimental, words of love. Valentine's Day is the perfect occasion to tease your lover with the naughty humor of these Valentine's Day quotes. Funny words may bring a smile, but witty jabs add a spark to the relationship. This Valentine's Day, roll on the floor with laughter.
- Helen Rowland
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted.
- Brendan Francis
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
- Miguel De Cervantes
Absence: that common cure of love.
Falling in love is so hard on the knees.
If I had a penny for everything I love about you, I would have many pennies.
- Author Unknown
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Laurence J. Peter
It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
- Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
- Jonathon Swift
Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.
- Cathy Carlyle
Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
- Jules Renord
Love is like an hour glass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
- Woody Allen
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
- John Barrymore
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
- Valentine's Day, Reed Bennett
Love is the only shocking act left on the planet.
- William Caxton
Love lasteth as long as the money endureth.
- Richard Friedman
Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.
- Charles Dickens
Never sign a Valentine with your own name.
- Albert Einstein
No, this trick won't work. How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
- Henry Kissinger
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
- Erich Segal
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Marie E. Eschenbach
We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.
- Oscar Wilde
Women are made to be loved, not understood.
- Henny Youngman
You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.