All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
It takes a long time to grow young.
The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
No wonder I'm unhappy… My twin forgot my birthday.
Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
William Butler Yeats
From our birthday, until we die,
Is but the winking of an eye.
No wise man ever wished to be younger.
Old age is always 15 years older than I am.
One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.