Napoleon Dynamite Quotes A funny collection of Napoleon Dynamite quotes Print Fox Searchlight Pictures By Simran Khurana Simran Khurana Education Expert MBA in Human Resource Development and Management, Narsee Monjee Institution of Management Studies B.S. in Commerce, Accounting, and Finance, University of Mumbai Simran Khurana is the Editor-in-Chief for ReachIvy, and a teacher and freelance writer and editor, who uses quotations in her pedagogy. Learn about our Editorial Process Updated on 01/14/20 There is almost an entire generation that will testify that Napoleon Dynamite is one of the best comedy movies ever. Are you one of those people? It is an incredibly quotable movie was an instant cult-classic. Kip & Napoleon Dynamite Napoleon Dynamite: Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec?Secretary No. 1: Is there anything wrong?Napoleon Dynamite: I don't feel very good.(takes telephone and dials)Kip: (making nachos on the other line) Hi.Napoleon Dynamite: Is grandma there?Kip: No, she's getting her hair done.Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh!!Kip: What do you need?Napoleon Dynamite: Can you just go get her for me?Kip: I'm really busy right now.Napoleon Dynamite: Just tell her to come get me.Kip: Why?Napoleon Dynamite: Cause I don't feel good!Kip: Well, have you talked to the school nurse?Napoleon Dynamite: No, she doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me?Kip: No.Napoleon Dynamite: Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?Kip: No, Napoleon.Napoleon Dynamite: But my lips hurt real bad!Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.Napoleon Dynamite: I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!Kip See ya.Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh! Idiot! Don & Napoleon Dynamite Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines! Grandma & Napoleon Dynamite Grandma: How was school?Napoleon Dynamite: The worst day of my life, what do you think? Deb & Napoleon Dynamite Deb: What are you drawing?Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.Deb: What's a liger?Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic. Rex Rex: At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?(pointing to Napoleon) Pedro & Napoleon Dynamite Napoleon Dynamite: What kind of bike do you have?Pedro: It's a sledgehammer.Napoleon Dynamite: Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps? Pedro & Napoleon Dynamite Pedro: If I win, you can be my secretary or something.Napoleon Dynamite: Sweet! Deb & Kip Deb: I'm trying to earn money for college.Kip: (from the background) Your mom goes to college. Uncle Rico Uncle Rico: How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? Yeah. Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.