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Quotes of Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx Can Really Tickle Your Funny Rib


Groucho Marx was the most versatile among his brothers. The Marx brothers began their career as singers. But, they entered the hall of fame with their madcap comic shows. Having performed in several plays; including a few Broadway shows; the highly talented Groucho Marx proceeded to act in films. Some of his films are the greatest comedy classics. On this page, you can read some of the hilarious quotes of Groucho Marx that made him a darling of the masses.
  • Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.

  • Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

  • Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

  • I wish you’d keep my hands to yourself.

  • Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

  • Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

  • Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

  • Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put 'Emily, I love you' on the back of the bill.

  • Last night I shot an elephant in my Pajamas and how he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

  • Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women

  • Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows -- marriage does.

  • My mother treated us all equally... with contempt.

  • Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

  • No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

  • No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

  • No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

  • Now there's a man with an open mind -- you can feel the breeze from here!

  • It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

  • Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

  • To Margaret Dumont: "I can see you and I married. I can see you bending over the stove. I can't see the stove!

  • We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

  • We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. But we're going back next year.

  • Love flies out the door, when money comes innuendo.

  • Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

  • What does California need an air force for? We have no air out here.

  • (When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid) I was just whispering in her mouth.

  • When I heard about [the Broadway play] Hair, I was kind of curious about the six naked primates on stage. So I called up the box office and they said tickets were $11 apiece. That's an awful price to pay. I went into the bathroom at home and took off all my clothes and looked in the mirror for five minutes. And I said, 'This isn't worth $11'.

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