Quote Seinfeld

Jerry is considered to be one of the best observational comedians. He is the 12th best comic according to Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-ups of all time. To quote Seinfeld about his humorous self, he says, "I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive." If you too are bewildered by the euphoria that surrounds Seinfeld, the following quotes will reveal the comedy genius that is Seinfeld.

"I don't understand how a woman can take boiling hot wax, pour it on upper thighs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider."


"When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman… Those are not fantasies... they're options."


"She has many other qualities admired by superficial men."


"The IRS! They're like the Mafia; they can take anything they want!"


"Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No pockets."


" [talking about dogs in cars] They have a hard time. They stand up, they sit down, they can't handle the turn either way. No matter which way you turn, he's not ready. They don't know what to do. And then comes the great moment of frustration. You stop someplace and get something to eat. This kills him. You get a hamburger, this blows his mind. "Instant food whenever you want it?" You know what this means to him? You ever see the look on his face? He looks over at you. "How'd you get that? Are they giving it to everybody now? You think I could get one?" They can't get anything."


"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking."


"You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet! Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by; you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each."


"First ten years of my life I think the only clear thought that I had was "Get candy!""