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Simpsons Quotes

Simply the Very Best Simpsons Quotes

By Simran Khurana, About.com

The Simpsons is one of the funniest shows on TV. Wacky lines and hilarious plots make the Simpsons "America's funniest family."

Stupidity: Homer Simpson
I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.

Food: Homer Simpson
I ordered 'double double burger' and they gave me 'double double double double burger'.

Food: Homer Simpson
I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of powered gravy I found in the parking lot.

Insults: Homer Simpson
Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that so called volunteers don't even get paid!

Life views: Homer Simpson
A job's a job. I mean, take me. If my plant pollutes the water and poisons the town, by your logic, that would make me a criminal.

Relationships: Homer Simpson
I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four.

Stupidity: Homer Simpson
This is the most exciting thing I've seen since Halley's comet collided with the moon.

Stupidity: Grampa Simpson
I always get the blame around here! Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?

Stupidity: Homer Simpson
I'm awake. I'm awake. I'm protected member of the team. You can't fire me, I quit! Please, I have a family. (Woken up at work).

Television: Homer Simpson
Look at them. Watching my TV. Sitting on my couch. You better not be in my ass groove!

Weird Humor: Homer Simpson
Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that.

Weird Humor: Grampa Simpson
Alright… lets see, first name, first name. Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answers to all the important questions. Call me Abraham Simpson.

Wise Cracks: Grampa Simpson
(When Marge inquires about the money)The government. I didn't earn it, I don't need it, but if they miss one payment, I'll raise hell!

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