Simpsons Quotes

The Simpsons is one of the funniest shows on TV. Wacky lines and hilarious plots make the Simpsons "America's funniest family."

Stupidity: Homer Simpson
I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.

Food: Homer Simpson
I ordered 'double double burger' and they gave me 'double double double double burger'.

Food: Homer Simpson
I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of powered gravy I found in the parking lot.

Insults: Homer Simpson
Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that so called volunteers don't even get paid!

Life views: Homer Simpson
A job's a job. I mean, take me. If my plant pollutes the water and poisons the town, by your logic, that would make me a criminal.

Relationships: Homer Simpson
I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four.

Stupidity: Homer Simpson
This is the most exciting thing I've seen since Halley's comet collided with the moon.

Stupidity: Grampa Simpson
I always get the blame around here! Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?

Stupidity: Homer Simpson
I'm awake. I'm awake. I'm protected member of the team. You can't fire me, I quit! Please, I have a family. (Woken up at work).

Television: Homer Simpson
Look at them. Watching my TV. Sitting on my couch. You better not be in my ass groove!

Weird Humor: Homer Simpson
Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that.

Weird Humor: Grampa Simpson
Alright… lets see, first name, first name. Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answers to all the important questions. Call me Abraham Simpson.

Wise Cracks: Grampa Simpson
(When Marge inquires about the money)The government. I didn't earn it, I don't need it, but if they miss one payment, I'll raise hell!