Simpsons Quotes

Fans of the Simpsons show have sent me their favorite Simpsons quotes. You may never have watched the Simpsons show, but these quotes can set you off into peals of laughter. Delight yourself with the funniest, wackiest of my favorite Simpsons quotes.

Stupidity: Homer Simpson
Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

Stupidity: Ralph Wiggum
Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Wise Cracks: Homer Simpson
Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.? The kids can call you Hoju!

Life views: Homer Simpson
To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to all of life's problems!

Parenting: Homer Simpson
Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.

Sex: Ralph Wiggum
Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Spirituality: Homer Simpson
I felt a surge of power, like god must feel -- when he's holding a gun.

Spirituality: Homer Simpson
But I'm not a missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus... save me Jebus!

Weird Humor: Homer Simpson
I've got two questions. One, where's the fife? And two, gimme the fife.

Weird Humor: Mr. Burns
Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.

Wise Cracks: Homer Simpson
If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!

Wise Cracks: Homer Simpson
I may just quit my job at the plant to become a full-time stock market guy.