Cute Funny Quotes

I have friends who are great joke-tellers. They time their lines perfectly. But, "joke delivery" was never my cup of tea. I excel in sharing cute funny quotes. And somehow, it seems to get my listeners' funny bone. You can also work on being a funny person by using some cute funny quotes. Start with this page of funny quotes.

Barry Goldwater
I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.

Roger Kahn
I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.

Robert Paul
My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

Miguel de Unamuno
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.

Alexander Woollcott
All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

Ron Nesen
Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.

Jay Leno
Don't forget Mother's Day… or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

Tom Snyder
If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

Benjamin Franklin
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

Anonymous
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.