Peter De Vries
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a rough-edged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the living.
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.
Little men with little minds and little imaginations go through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds.
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had.
Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.