Funny Drinking Quotes

People who have one drink too many can get into a state of funny drunken madness. Little wonder then that so many quotes have been dedicated to mocking the drinking habit. Here are funny drinking quotes that raise a toast to habitual and casual drinkers.

Brendan Behan
I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

Henny Youngman
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

George Gobel
I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.

W. C. Fields
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Frida Kahlo
I drank to drown my pain, but the damned pain learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good behavior.

W. C. Fields
A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.

Edward Abbey
A drink a day keeps the shrink away.

Catherine Zandonella
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

Dudley Moore
Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

George Burns
Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.