Cab drivers are living proof that practice does not make perfect.
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
Those people who tell me that I'm going to hell while they are going to heaven somehow make me very glad that we're going to separate destinations.
I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?
I don't know why people question the academic training of an athlete. Fifty percent of the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half of their classes.
If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food, which they take for granted -- but his or her entertainment value.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and having the two as close together as possible.