Short Funny Quotes

It is said that good things come in small packages. Maybe, that is the reason why any form of humor must be kept short and simple to get that perfect comic timing. Length and complexity slaughter potential humor. Here are a few short funny quotes that pack a lot of punch.

Chris Rock
We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.

Dennis Miller
I rant, therefore I am.

Shimon Peres
Television has made dictatorship impossible, but democracy unbearable.

Jim Loy
I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.

Mae West
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Friedrich Nietzsche
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.

Ethel Barrymore
You grow up the day you have your first real laugh - at yourself.

Josephine Baker
I wasn't really naked. I simply didn't have any clothes on.

W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Mae West
I speak two languages, Body and English.