There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'