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Humorous Sayings

Humorous Sayings Are a Respite From the Monotony of Life

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Moments spent in happiness are the ones that sparkle. Humor relieves us from the burden of monotony. It rejuvenates the spirit and sharpens the mind. Read these humorous sayings to rise above the humdrum of life.
  • Oscar Wilde
    Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

  • Mae West
    I speak two languages: Body and English.

  • Jack Handey
    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

  • Mark Twain
    Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

  • Mae West
    She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

  • Elbert Hubbard
    If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names.

  • Saul Bellow
    She was what we used to call a suicide blonde -- dyed by her own hand.

  • Bill Cosby
    Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

  • W. C. Fields
    I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

  • Steven Wright
    I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

  • Samuel Goldwyn
    I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

  • Calvin Coolidge
    I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

  • Mark Twain
    It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

  • Douglas Adams
    Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.

  • Oscar Wilde
    By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

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