George Carlin Quotations

You need to have some daredevilry to be a standup comedian like George Carlin. It's no wonder that Carlin has often found himself in the grip of controversies. His "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine invited the wrath of the US Supreme Court in 1972, which upheld that the comedy routine "Seven Dirty Words" was indecent, but not obscene. Of course, George Carlin was unfazed by the hullabaloo. Enjoy these George Carlin quotations which bring out his irreverent humor.

• The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election.
  
  
• Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
  
  
• Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
  
  
• I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
  
  
• If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
  
  
• I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
  
  
• Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
  
  
• Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
  
  
• Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
  
  
• You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
  
  
• Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.