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George Carlin Quotes

Get Prepared for an Onslaught From Carlin

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Imagine a person who throws an avalanche of mind-numbing questions at you. His questions merit thought, but you are left scratching your head for insightful answers. At the end, his questions leave you frustrated and bamboozled. George Carlin is such person. These George Carlin quotes are loaded with thought provoking queries.

  • What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

  • What was the best thing before sliced bread?

  • When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.

  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?

  • Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

  • When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

  • Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

  • Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

  • What if there were no hypothetical questions?

  • Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

  • Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

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