Marriage: Benjamin Franklin
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
Knowledge: Albert Einstein
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Gossip: Bertrand Russell
No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
Discipline: Jim Rohn
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
Humor: George Carlin
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
Humor: Robert S. Surtees
It is better to be killed than frightened to death.
Child: Red Buttons
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Youth: George Bernard Shaw
Youth is wasted on the young.
Humor: George Carlin
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
Time: Louis Hector Berlioz
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
Humor: Woody Allen
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Child: Josh Billings
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

