Ambition
I'd rather be a "could-be", if I cannot be an "are"; because a "could-be" is a "maybe" who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a "has-been" than a "might-have-been", by far; for a "might-have-been" has never "been", but a "has" was once an "are".
Funny
It opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Achievements
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
Funny
I know why Superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids!
Marriage
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Evolution
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Funny
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
