• Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
• A biography is a book that is usually written about a dead person because it is so unlike him when he was alive.
• All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy -- and Jill a rich widow.
• Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
• Walking isn't a lost art -- one must, by some means, get to the garage.
• It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
• Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.
• The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.
• Abdomen -- A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.
• Admiration -- Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
• Some people have no respect for age unless it's bottled.
• Never trust a woman who tells you her real age; she's liable to tell you the truth about anything.
• Many a girl who receives advances from a young man has a father who has more need for them.
• There's one point a husband and wife always agree upon; he thinks nothing is too good for her, and so does she.
