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Funny Women

Funny Women: The Perks With the Quirks

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A woman is an emblem of beauty; an enigma that harbors a myriad thoughts and emotions within the crucible of privacy. She drives you crazy, and yet one cannot fathom how insipid the world would be without her. Enjoy some funny women quotes and don't miss out on Groucho Marx's cunning twist in the quote, "Women should be obscene and not heard."

Lord Byron
What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.

Oscar Wilde
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.

Oliver Wendell Holmes
Man has will; but woman has her way.

Tim Allen
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Mae West
When women go wrong, men go right after them.

Mark Twain
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

Sigmund Freud
Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered:What does a woman want?

Leo Tolstoy
When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, 'Do what you like now'.

Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene and not heard.

Charlotte Whitton
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Mel Gibson
I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.

Eleanor Roosevelt
A woman is like a tea bag - you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.

Helen Rowland
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Erma Bombeck
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being: hitting my head on the top bunk until I faint.

Alfred Lord Tennyson
Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.

Friedrich Nietzsche
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

Ogden Nash
I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Mignon McLaughlin
It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily.

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