Quotes From Family Guy

Here is a page of a great collection of quotes from Family Guy. What I find amazing about these quotes from Family Guy is that even after reading them for the third time (and I have read them several times by now!) I find myself smirking and giggling. What about you?

Meg: You should go with him. This will be your chance to be alone with dad.
Chris: I'm not attracted to dad.
Meg: No, tell him you don't want to be in the scouts anymore.
Chris: Oh!
Meg: Yipes.

[Chris jumps on Peter's lap]
Chris: Dad, the scouts are no fun. I just want to draw. Oh, and...
[kisses Peter]
Peter: Son, I am going to stand up, walk out of this room, and we are never to speak of this again.

Mr. Fargas: Today, we are going to dissect... a clown. Well, it's no wonder this clown died. His lungs were filled with candy.

Peter: I'd sell my soul to be famous.
[cut to hell]
Satan: We've got a live one. Peter Griffin.
Assistant: No good, sir. It seems he already sold his soul once in 1977 for Bee Gees tickets and then again in 1983 for half a mallomar.

Chris: Hey Meg, I'm thinking of a word that's not kitty. Try and guess.
Meg: Is it kitty?
Chris: AHHH. Get out of my head. Get out of my head.

Chris: Hey Meg, try to think of the word I'm thinking of, and it's not kitty.
Meg: I don't know... banana?
Chris: Aha, it was kitty!

Brian: Excuse me, would you like to taste my smoked meat log?

Peter: Wow, I'm even better than that dad from Lost In Space.
[flashback]
Dad: We need to chart this planet. Greg, you take my 16 year old daughter out into the woods for the rest of the day. Penny, you stay with me. And Will, you and the robot go out into the uncharted wilderness and take this mincing, boy-hungry pedophile with you.

[Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus]
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian: Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.

[on the phone]
Chris: So, what are you wearing?
[pause]
Chris: Wow. I bet you can see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who are you talking to?
Chris: Grandma.

Stewie: How deliciously evil. It's like something out of Stephen King.
[flashback]
Stephen King: Now for my 300th novel, a couple... is attacked... by a giant lamp monster.
Editor: You're not even trying anymore are you?