Carrie: Everywhere I looked, people were standing in twos -- it was like Noah's Upper West Side rent-controlled Ark.
<on Carrie's upcoming bus ad... >
Samantha: Oh sweetie, forget about him. You are gonna be on the side of a bus. 10 million men are gonna be drooling over you every morning on their way to work. It's the best personal ad I've ever seen in my life.
Carrie: Samantha has a particular knack for turning a desperate situation into a hopeless one.
Carrie: Let's be honest. Sometimes there is nothing harder in life than being happy for somebody else. Like lottery winners. Or extremely successful people who are 27. And then there's that hell on earth that only your closest friends can inflict on you -- the baby shower.
Carrie: When Charlotte really liked a guy, she said his whole name -- it helped her to imagine their future monogrammed towels.
Miranda: Maybe it's time I stopped being so angry.
Carrie: Yah, but what would you do with all your free time?
Samantha: Until he says "I love you", you're a free agent.
Carrie: What is this? The Rules According to Samantha?
Samantha: See? I'm more old-fashioned than you think.
Samantha: Look at his robe. So "Robin and his Merry Men."
Carrie: Here. Swear. Swear on Chanel.
<Miranda on Samantha actually liking a guy>: Oh my God we're gonna have to ice skate home. Hell just froze over.
Carrie: I thought I had come to terms with my looks the year I turned thirty, when I realized I no longer had the energy to be completely superficial.
Samantha: Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get.
Samantha: Here's what I think. Round up all the divorced men and keep them in a pound. That way, you get their whole history before you take one home.
Miranda: I love how they say "until recently, the bride 'worked'."
Carrie: Yeah, meaning she quit her job as soon as she found her soul-mate-slash-investment-banker.
Charlotte: Listen to this: sometime in the ten years before menopause, you may experience symptoms including all-month long PMS, fluid retention, insomnia, depression, hot flashes or irregular periods.
Carrie: On the plus side, people start to give up their seats for you on the bus.
Carrie: Our affair, like our hotels, had gone from elegant with crystal to seedy with plastic cups.
Miranda, <to Samantha, who's offered to take Charlotte to a Playboy Mansion party>: Why would that cheer her up? Does she look like a 22-year-old frat boy?