Jerry Seinfeld
To me the hardest part of being a professional football player is on the one hand you're a millionaire on the other they blow a whistle and you have to run around after a football.
George Costanza
When women smile at me, I don't know what it means. Sometimes I interpret it like they're psychotic or something. And I don't know if I'm supposed to smile back. I don't know what to do.
Jerry Seinfeld
I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
George Costanza
She thinks I'm a nice guy. Women always think I'm nice. But women don't want 'nice'.
Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld
[to Elaine Marie Benes] And we discover yet another talent: posing as a girlfriend for homosexuals.
Jerry Seinfeld
[describing George Costanza] A short guy with glasses -- looked like Humpty Dumpty with a melon head.
George Costanza
Bald men with no jobs and no money who live with their parents don't approach strange women.

