Hunter S. Thompson
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.
Egotism - usually just a case of mistaken non-entity.
Fear is the mother of morality.
Charles F. Kettering
People are very open-minded about new things -- as long as they're exactly like the old ones.
Lyndon B. Johnson
Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.
People used to complain to me all the time, 'I can't even hear you sing because your clothes are so loud.'
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.