Random Funny Quotes

Pick up some random funny quotes on this page, and you will find valuable pieces of wisdom with a dash of humor. Wisdom is not limited to those with an illustrious background. Life gifts wisdom to each of us with a new experience. Then, why waste such beautiful learning? Let's share our wisdom through quotes. And to make it memorable, pepper it up with some humor.

Hunter S. Thompson
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Ronald Knox
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.

Barbara Stanwyck
Egotism - usually just a case of mistaken non-entity.

Friedrich Nietzsche
Fear is the mother of morality.

Charles F. Kettering
People are very open-minded about new things -- as long as they're exactly like the old ones.

Lyndon B. Johnson
Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.

Cyndi Lauper
People used to complain to me all the time, 'I can't even hear you sing because your clothes are so loud.'

Rita Rudner
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Charles Lamb
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

Sean Williamson
Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.