George Carlin Quote

George Carlin is a class act. He knew how to get to his audience's funny bone. In fact, he has often mentioned in his interviews that "his purpose of existence is to entertain people." However, Carlin has often evoked strong reactions from many sections of society for his not-so-kind statements. If George Carlin is your kind of funny man, then you will enjoy the George Carlin quotes here.

• Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
  
  
• Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
  
  
• Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
  
  
• I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
  
  
• You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
  
  
• I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
  
  
• It's never just a game when you're winning.
  
  
• One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
  
  
• Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
  
  
• The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
  
  
• I like Florida. Everything is in the 80's. The temperatures, the ages and the IQs.
  
  
• I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
  
  
• If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?
  
  
• Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.