Funny Halloween Quotes

Spice-up the Halloween mood with these funny Halloween quotes. Strangely enough, spooky tales, ghostly décor and weird costumes can go well with some festive humor.

Rita Rudner
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, "Trick or treat." "No thank you."

Fernando Pessoa
Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.

Jean Baudrillard
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

Rodney Dangerfield
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

Richard Harris Barham
Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

Lloyd Douglas
If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost.

Miguel de Cervantes
Fear has many eyes and can see things underground.

Anonymous
I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

Nina Willis Walter
The witches fly
Across the sky,
The owls go, "Who? Who? Who?"
The black cats yowl
And green ghosts howl,
"Scary Halloween to you!"

Scottish Saying
From ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!

Steve Almond
Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.

Dee Snider
Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the "spirits" of things.

Conan O'Brien
This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.

George Carlin
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

Henry David Thoreau
I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion.

Mark Twain
Everyone is a moon and has a dark side, which he never shows to anybody.

Drew Carey
I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?