Wedding Crasher Movie Quotes

In the film Wedding Crashers, John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey (played by Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan) are divorce mediators who spend their weekends crashing weddings. The film abounds in hilarious dialogue as the two protagonists lie through their teeth to score points with the ladies. The following Wedding Crashers movie quotes will definitely make you chuckle.

John Beckwith
[to a group of children at a wedding] Love doesn't exist, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys. And I'm not picking on love, 'cause I don't think friendship exists either.

John Beckwith
Claire! All I wanted is to have a minute alone with you to explain everything. But I've never gotten that chance. So here goes. For longer than I care to remember, my business has been crashing weddings. I crashed weddings to meet girls. Business was good. I met a lot of girls. It was childish and irresponsible.

John Beckwith
That's right. What am I thinking? I'm used to sailing down under with the kiwis so everything's backwards and the toilets when you flush them, the water spins the opposite way. Really freaks you out the first time you see it.

John Beckwith
Get off your high horse and stop judging people.

John Beckwith
Rule #15: give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake; you just made me look like an idiot.

Jeremy Grey
Rule #35: never commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse.

Jeremy Grey
Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!

Jeremy Grey
I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding? Neither are you.

Secretary Cleary
You know Gloria, she's always been impetuous. She had to have her sweet sixteen on her thirteenth birthday!

Secretary Cleary
Well, the guy wants to run for president, he thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease.

Sack Lodge
Ok, you can just cut that psycho babble bullshit your mom tells you. You wanna help me kid? Do you? Why don't you run along and fetch me a 7Up, ok? 'Cause I might get vulnerable again.