Tommy
- I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take a butcher's word for it.
- [hugging a stranger] I passed. I wish we'd known each other... this is a little awkward.
- God, you're gonna remember this for the rest of your life. Can't believe you've never been cow tipping before.
- [talking like a toddler] Him too fwaid to get out, he's just a wittle guy.
- Apparently they give a lot fewer D-pluses than D-minuses. It's not a grade they like to give out.
- Oh, man, that's cold! I'm a maniac, maniac on the floor. And I'm dancing' like I've never danced before...
- R.T., I lost my virginity to your daughter, for crying out loud.
- Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter.
- This is like a bad Twilight Zone. I think I'm growing a tumour.
Listen up, you little spazoids. I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear to everything holy that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you.
Paul
These shoes are Italian. They're worth more than your life.
Ray Zalinsky
Ted, send over a bottle of bubbly in a bucket of ice and a card. Have the card read, "Tough luck, get drunk on me. Use the bucket to ice down your marbles, Yours, Z."
Ted Reilly
Oh, real good. Real good. I had a kidney removed last April, but I still have the other one.
Kid in Bank
Oh, yeah right. It was some other real fat guy with a tiny head.
