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Wedding Toast Jokes

Dazzle the Audience With These Wedding Toast Jokes


Since time immemorial, humor has been used as a buffer to temper emotional situations. Weddings are stirring and poignant occasions. While wedding toasts do make use of emotional words, one could also bring use the following quotes and add that much-needed dash of humor to a wedding toast.

Helen Rowland
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -- a practice which is still continued.

Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are thunder, lightning, tornados and hail.

Ambrose Bierce
Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.

H. L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1919
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia -- to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

Erma Bombeck
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married... and she didn't have to hear about how well his Mother cooked.

Jule Renard
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

Nick Faldo
We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.

John Barrymore
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

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